So You Have – (ASCD)

Allistic Social Conformity Disorder (ASCD)

A practical guide for navigating an autistic majority world

Welcome

You have recently been identified as allistic, sometimes called neurotypical.

This means your brain is wired a bit differently from the autistic people around you.
That is not bad. It is just not the default in this society.

This pamphlet will help you:

  • Understand your traits
  • Recognize your strengths
  • Avoid common misunderstandings with autistic people
  • Stop blaming yourself for simply existing differently

What Is Allistic Social Conformity Disorder?

Allistic Social Conformity Disorder (ASCD) is a natural variation in human brains where a person:

  • Strongly values fitting in with the group
  • Uses indirect language and social cues to communicate
  • Worries a lot about how others see them
  • Finds blunt honesty intense or even “rude”

In a world mostly built by autistic people, these traits can stand out
and sometimes cause confusion.

You are not broken.
You are just operating with a different user manual.

Core Traits of ASCD

1. Indirect Communication

You might:

  • Hint instead of saying what you mean
  • Expect others to “get it” from your tone, facial expression or silence
  • Say “It is fine” when it is not fine and hope someone figures it out

Autistic people tend to take words literally.
They may believe “It is fine” means “It is fine.”

Tip: When in doubt, say the thing you are actually thinking.

2. Social Harmony First, Facts Second

You may:

  • Soften or change your opinions to avoid conflict
  • Feel upset when someone corrects you bluntly in front of others
  • Think “being nice” is more important than “being exact”

Autistic people often see direct correction as helpful, not hostile.
They can feel confused when you get upset about tone but not about the actual information.

Tip: You are allowed to say “What you said is useful, but the way you said it felt harsh.”

3. High Sensitivity to Social Status

Common patterns:

  • Strong urge to “fit in” and not stand out
  • Worry about how you look, how you sound, and who likes you
  • Stress when you do not know the “social rules” in a new group

Autistic people often care more about shared interests or honesty
than about who is popular or polished.

Tip: Ask for clear rules.
Example: “If I have a concern here, what is the best way to bring it up?”

4. Reliance on Nonverbal Signals

You might:

  • Feel uneasy if someone does not make eye contact
  • Read a lot into facial expressions and tone
  • Assume silence means anger or rejection

Autistic people may avoid eye contact to focus better,
and often choose silence when thinking, not when angry.

Tip: Instead of guessing, try “I am not sure how you feel about this. Can you tell me?”

Everyday Challenges in an Autistic Majority World

At Work

You might notice:

  • Meetings that jump straight to the point with no small talk
  • Emails that are short and blunt but not meant to be rude
  • Colleagues who do not react to your tone, only your words

This can feel cold or unfriendly to you.
To many autistic people, it feels respectful and efficient.

In Friendships

You may:

  • Expect regular check ins, casual chatting, unspoken reassurance
  • Feel hurt when a friend disappears for a while then comes back like nothing happened
  • Confuse “low contact” with “no care”

Autistic friends may show care by:

  • Fixing problems for you
  • Sharing useful information
  • Simply staying present over years, even with gaps in contact

In Relationships

You might:

  • Drop hints and then feel ignored when they are not caught
  • Ask “Are you mad?” and hear “No, I am just thinking” and still not believe it
  • Feel distressed by direct feedback about your behavior

Autistic partners often prefer:

  • Clear questions
  • Honest answers
  • Problem solving over hidden emotional tests

Your Strengths

ASCD comes with real advantages.

You might be:

  • Good at smoothing tension when people want peace more than accuracy
  • Skilled at noticing group mood and when others feel left out
  • Comfortable with casual mingling, networking and quick social introductions
  • Willing to “soften” messages so they land gently

In an autistic world, these skills are unusual and can be very valuable
when used openly and honestly.

How To Support Yourself

  1. Ask for explicit rules
    • “Can you tell me the expectations for this meeting?”
    • “If I do something that bothers you, how would you like to tell me?”
  2. Translate your hints into clear statements
    • Hint: “It is kind of cold in here.”
    • Clear: “Can we turn the heat up two degrees?”
  3. Give people your settings
    • “I do better when people soften criticism a little.”
    • “I care a lot about tone, so if something sounds sharp, I might react first emotionally.”
  4. Accept different priorities Autistic people may not chase popularity, fashion, or small talk.
    That does not mean they dislike you.
    It often means their energy is going into other things.

How Others Can Support You

You can share this section with autistic friends, family, or coworkers.

To support someone with ASCD:

  • Say what you mean, but add one sentence of context
    • “I disagree. Here is why. I am not mad, just thinking out loud.”
  • Do not rely on eye contact as a sign of honesty
    • Ask “Are you with me?” instead of “Why will you not look at me?”
  • Make social rules visible
    • “Here, it is normal to leave right after the meeting. Nobody thinks that is rude.”
  • Give reassurance in words
    • “I like working with you.”
    • “I am not upset. I am just tired.”
  • When in doubt, ask instead of guessing their feelings

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Am I broken?
No. Your brain is working exactly as a typical human brain often does.
It is just in a minority context here.

Q: Can ASCD be cured?
There is nothing to cure.
The goal is not to erase your traits but to understand them
and learn how to live well among autistic people.

Q: Why do autistic people not adjust to me instead?
They already do in many ways you do not see.
This pamphlet exists to show how strange it feels
when only one side is asked to change.

Q: Is it okay to ask for my needs too?
Yes. Autistic people are not mind readers either.
You are allowed to say, “I need a softer tone”
just like they can say, “I need clearer words.”

Final Thoughts

You are allistic. That is just a fact about your wiring.

Autistic people are not “better.”
You are not “worse.”
You are simply different in a world that assumes autism as the default.

The more we can name these differences without shame,
the easier it becomes for all of us to meet in the middle.